"you are my job satisfaction".
Mr Chan,
For you, no less than A1s for both math on my O's cert.
For you, I'll prove that shitass guy wrong. Somebody with a 30plus L1R5 CAN be a genius. Mark my words asshole.

How remarkable is it that a simple sentence and high5 can keep me going. But that's all I ever needed, and that's all I'll ever need :)

For you, A thousand times over:)

PTL.


Dear Marko, how have you been?

It's been 4 days since you've left me, and life at home seems so mundane without you.

I still have the habit of opening the door slowly whenever i come home, because silly you always stood too close to the door whenever you knew i was coming back.

I'm sorry I never got to tell you my last words, what i really wanted to tell you. I was afraid of seeing you, I was afraid that you would just leave me halfway.

Mom never told me you were gone till three days later when i messaged her asking about you, because she thought I had already said my last words to you. Fact is, I have yet to start.
You know, Dad wanted me to tell you that he loved you, and that he never forgot you. But I guess it's all too late now. I just wished you knew. I wanted to tell you how great you were these 8 years. You never failed to cheer me up whenever I felt down. You always knew, even when nobody did. You always rested your head on my thigh, snuggling together with me in the room. You weren't the best smelling dog, but i still loved you all the same. You always licked up my tears whenever i cried alone. You wore diapers towards the last year of your life, for you couldn't help but pee all around the house. It made you stink more, but i loved you all the same.

Whenever you slept in my room with a diaper filled with pee, the stench always woke me up, but i loved you all the same. You used to shit in my room, sometimes even on my bag and stuff, but i loved you all the same. My heart feels so empty now. Do you know how much i miss you? Every day i come home, wishing it was just a dream, and that you'll be there, right behind the door, welcoming me home.

That very day i came home, you were there, but you were weak. Maybe I haven't realised, but that day, I saw that you were old, and could hold on no longer. I wept, because I knew you wouldn't stay long. You still managed to walk me to my room and laid with me on the floor. The next few days you just kept sleeping, hardly even eating.

Then one day i came home and saw mom carrying you, and i asked if you were gone. She said you were sleeping like a baby, so peaceful. I cried. Mom said you were almost gone in your sleep earlier that day, but woke up time and time again, as though you didn't want to leave. Mom said maybe you were waiting for me. I cried harder. Fact is, I just didn't want you to leave. We didn't bear to send you to the vet, because we could see you trying so hard to hang on. The next few days whenever I walked pass mom's room, i stopped for 5 seconds to make sure you were breathing, before going to my room.

Then a few days later, I didn't see you in the room anymore. I thought to myself, maybe she placed you at the corner of the room where i couldn't see. Fact is, I was just to afraid to know the truth. Then three days later I couldn't hold on any longer. I had to know. Then, before i knew it, Mom told me you were gone. I had so many things i wanted to say. But i guess it's all too late now. You left on wednesday, and Thursday you left me with a dream. I dreamt that in the dream you were able to talk, and told me you could hold on no longer. You stood up to hug me, and we spent the day together. In my dream when I woke up, I told all my friends that i had to be home tonight in case you left. Fact is, you were already gone, and i found out only days later. I feel guilty for not being able to be there when you left. I felt devastated. I was angry with Mom for not telling me. I just had so much things i wanted to say. Now i feel as though everything is stuck inside me, it's all too late to say it now. Can you hear me from there? I wonder if you know that i miss you dearly, I wonder if you know what i want to say to you.

I guess no other dog can ever be like you. Sleeping till your head touched the floor. hah. One that's always so gentle. You always licked off food from my hand before biting, as you were afraid you would accidently bite me. You were always bullied, even by cats. Haha, aren't you such a weakling! But i loved you all the same.

Do you remember years back when you had this little lamb toy that you loved so much. You practically chewed off its eyes and nose, leaving it looking a little absurd. You always loved ransacking my dustbin, ever since years ago. It sometimes gave you tummyaches, and we had to send you to the vet. Whenever you took those medicine, you would always fart, and boy did those farts stink! But i loved you all the same.


Now I wish you would come back, this time not to hear about my ramblings about school, but to hear my last words for you. i love you boy. i'll always do.




Why do adults always think they know best. what's best for us, what we should do, what we shouldn't do. Yeah, you don't want to affect my studies. Who are you to know that if i knew on that day, I was going to work even harder? Who are you to assume that i knew he was gone? I only did 3 days later, holy crap that feeling sucks. I assume you didn't know that huh.

All of you adults, always like to assume. Hell yeah i know you had a boyfriend and yeah i know you have a girlfriend. Yeah, i knew. Only after you started bringing her to reunion dinners and after he turned up at our place. Hell yeah i knew.

So since you adults know everything, i assume you know what time i'm going home. I assume you'll know if i studied. i'll assume you'll know when i get married lah, okay?

Hello team, whoever's reading this. I just heard this song on Glee and it reminded me so much of us that i had to pause the whole show just to find out what this song was. I'm not really sure who sang this, but it really speaks to me, and i hope it does too, to all of you. Sure, there's no reason to smile anymore, it's the first time that we're out now but hey, we still have each other, and our dear God up above. There's every reason to smile, and i dedicate this song, to all of y'all team. Thank you for the happy times we shared, the macs we had, the many team talks and the many smile and laughter you guys brought. i love y'all.

Smile, though your heart is aching.
Smile, even though it's breaking.
Though there are clouds in the sky, you get by...

If you smile through your fears and sorrows.
Smile and repeat tomorrow.
You'll see the sun come shining through.

If you just light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever, ever so near.

That's the time you must keep on trying.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile, come on and smile.

If you just smile.


PTL.

原来我就是那么不重要.

Today's the day Jesus died on the cross for us, not for Himself, but to wash away all our sins. Only with His blood, will we be pure again. Just as how the Lord God wants us to be. I feel bloody guilty I wasn't able to attend church today. Reason being isabelle couldn't wake up this morning and I didn't know all saints had service in the morning. Sigh!
Anyway, met boh to go to queensway tog! Went to ikea(redhill) to eat before walking to queensway to buy our stuff:D walked and walked before we finally got our shoes for school baby! Then I bought another tights and some other stuff before heading to marina square to find boh's top. Omg I think my leg almost died considering how much we walked today! FINALLY we got all that we wanted and we ate ice cream from some jap restaurant:D train-ed back home and wanted to have a short nap but accompanied mom to eat dinner instead.
No training tomorrow cause coach has a date with Annie(HAHAHAHA TEAM JOKE) so I am able to go church tmr after THREE LONG MONTHS. yay!!! I'm so excited! :D
but... My knee hasn't healed yet:( actually it's not really my knee but I have no idea what it's called. Back knee!? Lol. Went to the sinseh and he gave me total hell omg. I almost died in his hands! It got better but it still hurts so hopefully by Tuesday I'll be fine, I hope:)
I shan't stay online any much longer, blogging cause I felt the want to and since my cable is gone, I'm blogging on itouch which isn't v user friendly especially since they don't have any apps for blogger unlike livejournal and wordpress.

Goodnight online world:)

Your love it broke my fall.

PTL.

I am sixteen and i study in Anglican High. I play for my school and for Siglap Youth.
I totally love Adam Lambert and i don’t really care if he’s gay.
I support Liverpool and I think Gerrard and Torres are hot<3
I'm currently in love with this youtuber called Charlie and he is totally coollike
I think my friends are the best in the entire world and i will never trade them for anything, ever.
I adore my team and my coach to the maxxxxxxx. I had my braces on just this year and it totally sucks.
My itouch is named Adam and although it screws itself up at times, i still pretty much appreciate the fact that it has always been there for me whenever i needed time alone.
I used to have this ultimate fear and disgust towards math but I believe I have since overcomed that fear and have started working hard for my math tests.
I am blessed with the best teachers ever and for them I work hard, because a simple encouragement from them keeps me going.
Lastly, I am a Christian and am proud to be one. I crave to be a good testimony and hope to glorify Him in whatever I do.



You'll never walk alone.

March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
November 2010